why I am adopting (by anne)

Here’s is why I am going to adopt...

I am adopting because this is just another season in my life were God is doing something through me that I would not do on my own. I am a person who loves my family, my comfort and financial security. At first glance, adoption seems to be something that challenges each of those things. We trust, however, that through this process our family will grow and be strengthened, that my comfort will not be found in what I think my life should look like, but in getting to know Christ better and that my true security will be not found in our bank account.

I’m adopting because I like my kids. I want Wy and Rex to have another friend to play with. I am so excited to have another little face to kiss and love. I remember thinking before Rex was born that we enjoyed Wyatt so much that we needed someone else to share that love. Part of me feels that way now. We really like our boys, think they are the funniest and most enjoyable to be around, and believe that adding another to the mix would just enhance it all.

I am adopting in the hopes that through our adoption, we can encourage others to do the same. I picture a ripple effect. I can think of numerous families who have gone before us, making it easier to understand and value adoption. My hope is that people will look at us, see the Graves family, who is far from having it all together, and say, “Hey, if those people can do it, maybe God can give us the grace to do the same!” We will be adopting only one child, but hopefully many others may eventually be adopted as a result.

Lastly, I am adopting because I have a heart for orphans. Even now, I can’t fathom the life of an orphan. I can’t imagine not being “known” the special way a parent loves a child. From infancy, I could tell my boys’ cry from another. I have known their likes and dislikes, their tickle spots, and what would make them smile. I know their favorite books and their favorite cars. I truly know my kids. I want to give a little child the same chance to be known.

It is amazing for me to think that even though this is such a big step for our family, we still probably will, Lord willing, make it to China, step into the orphanage and think that we haven’t done enough. I fight that thought often. Why adopt one when the problem is so much bigger? There are too many children and needs to deal with. Will it really matter? I believe and trust, for all the good that will come of this in our life and in this little child’s, it will.

the BIG application

Here we are mailing part 1 of our big Gladney application. We mailed this on Monday of last week, only for it to be stuck on a Fed Ex truck in the blizzard of 2010 in Pennsylvania for 3 days. Regardless, it finally arrived and we are officially in the thick of this adoption. You aren't able to tell from this picture, but the boys are just as excited as we are. You also aren't able to tell from this picture that only minutes before, they were sprawled out on the floor in a full-out "loving" brother wrestling match only feet away while I paid for the package to be mailed. Ah, to be a mother of 2 boys! Despite the wrestling, we are moving along and are slowly making progress! Yay!

why I am adopting (by chris)

Here are a 7 reasons I am adopting (and a few reasons that didn't affect our decision).

We are not adopting because we can't have more kids. We have two wonderful boys and could likely have more biological kids if we chose. I think that is a great reason to adopt, but it's not our reason.

We are not adopting because we have stinky boys and want a sure way to get some pink in our house. Actually, the last unchecked box in the 20 pages of paperwork we are sending in is gender. We may check the girl box, but that's not the primary reason we are adopting either. [Since this post, we decided to adopt a boy since there is more of a need for boys to be adopted than girls.]

We are not adopting because we are looking for a charity. There are plenty of good charities out there, and I work full-time for one. I literally gave at the office. Adoption is more than that to me.

We are not adopting because we saw some vision or heard some voice. It's been a much longer and more subjective process. I think it's what we are supposed to do but if the money doesn't work out or there are problems and we can't, then I guess we weren't supposed to do it. If we are, then God will have to make it happen.

Here's why I am...

I am adopting because every time I see pictures or read about unwanted babies in a third-world orphanage I cry (something I'm not known for doing often). Anne has read some books about Chinese orphans who have never seen the sunlight or stop crying cause it doesn't help,  and I can't even touch those books. The blurbs on the back are enough to do me in. I think that is a sign that I am called to adopt. I think God put that soft spot in my heart.

I am adopting because the Scriptures talk about it over and over. James 1:27 says that taking care of an orphan is pure religion. Isaiah 1:17 commands us to defend the cause of the orphan. Verses like that affect my decisions.

I am adopting because I've prayed about it for over a year. Anne has prayed about it even longer. I told her that we just couldn't afford $30,000 and that if the Lord wanted us to do it, then He'll need to provide a way. Then He provided a way. It won't pay for everything, but with the money I am getting from a side job, some grants, and some fundraising, the Lord seems to be opening doors. If the money doesn't come in and it all flops, we'll slow down or stop the process, but it seems that God first put a desire in our hearts and now is making  a way for it to happen.

I am adopting because we have seen it be such a blessing to our family and friends. Adoption is one of those win-win deals where a little one gets a chance they'd never have otherwise, and I get more hugs each night at bedtime. Adoption is no sacrifice to me.

I am adopting because I love my boys so much. We are no where near a perfect family, but I love my boys more than I can put into words. And I'd like to give an unwanted baby that same love (in China, waiting children are often abandoned because they have physical defects). I want a little boy who has a small bed and nothing to his name to have a mommy who hugs and kisses him, a daddy who tells who thinks he is awesome, and two big brothers that will love him more than he's ever known.

I am adopting because I can do something to make a difference. Most mornings we turn off the Today Show because it's too depressing and disturbing. With all the bad things in the world, it feels like we can't do much. But I can do this. I can make a difference in one life. I can bring one person from an unreached people group into a Christian family. I can't do much, but I can do this. So we will.

I am adopting because my child is out there somewhere. What would you give or do to bring your biological child home if they were stuck in an orphanage? Would you take a side job, fill out paperwork, and fundraise? For my two boys I'd literally do anything. In adoption, you get the sense that a member of your family is missing. He is in a crib and held twice a day. He may have never left the only room he's ever known. He may have never been sung to. He isn't loved. That kills me. And we are going to do whatever it takes to find him.

That is why I am adopting.