one less orphan shirts

People keep asking us if they can help with our adoption. Here’s a simple way: buy a t-shirt.

We’re asking friends, family, strangers, enemies, and even Gator fans to help us get closer to our adoption funds $20 at a time. It’s incredible how a slew of people chipping in a twenty can help inch us closer to the $6000+ we still need to raise. The shirt says it well: One Less Orphan. That’s the point. It is about helping our little boy in China who needs medical help, who needs a mommy and daddy and goofy brothers, who needs a hope and a future, and who needs a Christian home. And you can help in a simple way.

The details: Shirts are charcoal gray, short sleeved. Suzanne Holbrook designed them, so you know they look cool. We didn’t go cheap on these. They are two-color, and we upgraded the shirt to softer cotton and a fitted cut. They are guaranteed to make you look a dozen pounds skinnier… or ripped, you can choose. We also ordered kids sizes, so the options are: S, M, L, XL, XXL, kids S, and kids M. Suggested donation for each is $20.

We also are so thankful for a few people who are donating funds to purchase these shirts for us. So 100% of your money will go straight to the adoption. Not a percentage. It all goes to help there be one less orphan in the world. And you'll get to meet this little guy one day.

Here’s how to order:

Step 1: Send an email to us at OneLessOrphanShirts@gmail.com. Tell us your name, sizes, and address. We’ll email you back if you have questions.

Step 2: Give us a check or send us money through Paypal. Please donate at least $20 per shirt and $5 more if you want us to ship them to you.

Step 3: Know that you’ve helped there be One Less Orphan out there. And you got a dang cool shirt doing it. Thank you!

it's a match

Tuesday we woke up to see an email containing pictures and medical information about a thirteen month old with cleft lip and palate. Our adoption workers matched us with him overnight. He is in foster care in remote northern China, called Inner Mongolia. I’m already making plans to nickname him Genghis Khan. Sounds manly, huh? His home is a land of rolling grassy hills, snow covered sand dunes, and a never-ending blue sky. It’s hard to comprehend that I’ll be going there in a matter of months. Even harder to comprehend my son lives there.

He was abandoned at a shopping mall and now lives in foster care. They think his birthday is October 9, 2009, but you can never be sure with orphans. For some reason his lip hasn’t been fixed, according to his outdated medical information. It says that he didn’t meet the requirements to get his lip fixed, which is hard to understand why that is the case. A cleft palate makes eating and drinking difficult (not surprising it’s hard to eat with a hole in the roof of your mouth) so he is somewhat underweight. But the three doctors we’ve had look over the info feel that it’s not a big deal because it seems he is developing normally otherwise. If they aren’t concerned, then neither are we. So we have agreed to adopt this little boy.

It was strange meeting a child through two awkwardly translated medical forms and three obligatory pictures. He’s still a cute guy. His eyes are like two big brown cups of coffee. Beautiful eyes. Unforgettable eyes. People keep telling us how sweet he looks. And he does look sweet. But it’s also hard not to project your feelings of sadness onto this little boy whose parents abandoned him because (for a reason we’ll never know) they felt unable to help his condition. I sat with one son on my lap, looking at pictures of another son we’ve never met. It is a strange emotion. It’s hard not to feel detached from it all, like you’re reading a case study of a distant person. It's because he is a distant person in a distant land, but he’s also my son who I want on my lap just as badly. Lord willing, he will be in a matter of a few months.

So today we know who our boy is. We are so excited. We will post pictures and more information sometime. We want to make sure all is final before we do, and we hope to get updated medical information and pictures from the CCAA. Our next step is to complete our LOI (Letter of Intent/plan for care). Then we’ll crisscross the Pacific with FedEx'ed paperwork for a few months and hopefully be going to get him in early spring 2011.

Thanks for all the comments, prayers, and wishes of congrats. We are humbled at the kindness of our former pediatrician, doctors we barely know, adoption workers who work on their days off, friends calling and texting daily, and our family. We are thankful.

this could be the week

Friday we could find out who our little boy is. Let me explain.

A couple days ago we spoke with our adoption case manager (named April) who works with special needs adoptions in China. From everyone’s best guess, a new list of special-needs children will be released this Thursday night (11/18). If there are boys on the list with minor special needs (which there are usually several), we will be contacted Friday morning by April and we will see the face of our son for the first time.

I know this is complicated. Here’s the nitty-gritty. When our agency confirms a list is being released, the case workers stay up all night (to be on Chinese time) and frantically match families with kids. It’s like the NFL Draft without the last-minute trades and, well… without the football players. Picture a bunch of coffee-hyped adoption workers with eyes glued to computer screens until sunrise, reviewing names, faces, and medical conditions, and hurrying to match families with children before a jerk from another agency matches before they do. Kind of like the last minutes of an eBay auction: “Darn you surfer4973! That iPod was mine!” Except it’s not iPods. These workers are dealing with lives. They are changing families. Our family. Friday morning we hope to receive an email with a name, medical info, and picture of a boy. We have 72 hours to let our doctors look over the info and agree to adopt. If we agree, that picture is of our son.

April said that on the vast majority of lists, there are several boys with minor medical conditions (such as cleft lip/palate, club foot, missing fingers, etc). So likely the list will come out Thursday, and likely there will be several boys we could adopt, and so likely we’ll be matched this Friday. That’s a lot of likelies. But adoption isn’t a cut-and-dry process. Nothing important ever is.

We began the adoption process in January. It has been ten months of paperwork purgatory. Filling out paperwork. And notarizing paperwork. And mailing paperwork. And authenticating the notarized, mailed paperwork. And still, I am shocked that it’s here. This could we the week we get to see our boy for the first time. I’m freaked out by the idea. Sure, I’m excited, but in a holy-crap sort of way. What’s he look like? What will we see in those little eyes looking back at us? Will he look happy? Will our hearts break? Will he look anything like the face I’m imagining? Will we love him at first sight, or just not feel it? (It’s common to do either.) We have scores of questions. And many of them may be answered Friday.

Pray for us. We need patience and faith. Pray for our families. And pray for April and the other case workers. It is their job to choose a son for us. But I’ll be honest. My faith isn’t in April and her team, though they are good at what they do. I rest in the fact that God is sovereign. He has chosen who our son is supposed to be. Our boy doesn’t know us, and we likely can’t pronounce his name right or find his hometown on a map. But he’s alive and probably in a crib right now. And God has sovereignly chosen him to be part of our family out of the billions of families on earth. God chose Anne to pick him up when he runs crying. God chose Wyatt to teach him about soccer and Legos. God wanted Rex to wrestle him to the ground. And God chose me to teach him how to say “Daddy.” That’s why we are looking forward to Friday. This could be the week we get one giant step closer to our boy being home. Please pray with us if you will.

dtc

The adoption process is one of paperwork, legalese and acronyms. Every week Anne and I are trying to remember the difference between a LID, PA, and LOI. Well, today we got three letters... DTC.

DTC is "Dossier to China." Maybe you don't see the significance. Let me explain. Dossier is a French word for our American paperwork written in English that is going to be translated into Chinese. Not helpful? Maybe the D isn't as important as the TC: "to China." Our 87 lbs of paperwork that has taken ten months is leaving on a jet plane and won't be back again. We are watching our FedEx tracking number daily as our dossier passes the Dharma Initiative and Tom Hank's friend Wilson to arrive in China Thursday.

The reason this is a big deal is that we are totally done with all American paperwork. Finished. Called a day. Dun. Within a couple weeks we should get our LID (Log-In Date) meaning we are officially in the Chinese system and ready to be referred a child. Other special-needs Chinese adoption blogs we have looked at had this timing: DTC, two weeks later a LID, a few weeks later the here's-your-kid picture. All this to say, we are literally weeks away from finding out who our boy is. Then we'll go get him in four to six months.

So to review. DTC- done. LID- next. All this for a KID. 10-4? K.
-cg

no news = good news?

We feel like four year olds impatiently waiting for Christmas… and it’s September. When you measure time in episodes from the Disney channel, weeks might as well be decades. That’s how we feel, trying to not to squirm and complain as we wait for an incredible gift that seems an eternity away.


The first week of August we sent off our dossier to somewhere. It was either DC or Never-Never-Land. The difference escapes me. Now it’s mid-September and it’s still lodged at the US Dept of State. It has literally been sitting in the same place for weeks. No movement. No news. And even worse, it’s partially my [Chris'] fault.


In August, we had two options before us: the faster/more expensive option of hiring a courier to push it through, or the slower/cheaper route of snail mail. If you know me at all, you know that “cheap” and “slow” are like middle names to me. Two core values. So, I opted for that choice. Adoptions will nickel and dime and two-hundred-dollar you to death. Plus, we had heard from no grants and I hoped that this option may give us a few more weeks for money to come in. Good plan, huh?


Well, so much for that. It’s been six weeks, the paperwork is in some nameless secretary’s inbox, still not stamped and prepared for another undetermined amount of time at the Chinese consulate… and there’s been no news from any grants. Plus the new batch of kids is landing on the CCAA list tonight. And our paperwork is buried.


In short, the past six weeks have been adoption purgatory.


However, we haven’t lost faith, though my sarcasm may sound otherwise. We are doing ok. The waiting is harder on Anne than it is me (see above: middle names of “cheap” and “slow”). Anne has the motherly instincts kicking in and is ready to see that cute little face, yet she knows it’s many more weeks away. But we trust God and His timing because He has chosen the precise son for us, and that son is not on the list posting tonight.


No news can only be good news if God is good. And we believe He is. We hold to the promise that God works all things for our good and His glory. So we can have faith that stuck paperwork isn’t stuck by accident. This is part of His plan, His very good plan. So this waiting is very good because God is in it.


We’ll likely be able to pay a courier to ram it the rest of the way through the Dept of State and to the Consulate. I hope he is 6’6”, 280, tattooed, and a bouncer on the weekends. That dude would move some paperwork. After Murda (my name for my bouncer) gets the paperwork done, then it’ll be heading to China. We’ll get a log-in date soon after and a picture of our boy in hopefully October or November, and will likely be traveling to China early 2011. That’s the plan.


But if we’ve learned anything, our plans often don’t equal reality. The timing is in God’s hands. His very good hands. And we’ll trust His very good timing, not ours. And I trust that He will redeem this time and this waiting for our good and His glory.

yard sale numbers

Here's the story in numbers:

• 20+ families who donated items
• 4 vehicle loads of items leftover from the Brockman/McNeil adoption yard sale
• 30+ items of furniture donated
• 11:30pm when people left our house last night
• 6:15am when people arrived this morning
• 19 people who worked Fri/Sat, not counting those who donated items
• 13 tables of just clothing, not counting shoes, hang-up clothes, etc.
• $130 raised in the bake sale alone
• 103 heat index today, but 0 raindrops which is incredible once we saw the radar

and the bottom line...

• $2045.15 amount raised!

We are so thankful and humbled for everyone who donated, baked items, carried heavy boxes in the heat, helped us sort, and came to buy the stuff. We are so thankful.

huge, gigantic, really big adoption yard sale Saturday

We have been overwhelmed with 20 or more families who have given us tons of stuff for what has become the largest yard sale I've ever seen. No joke. Beds, dressers, kids clothes, toys, furniture, books, dishes, crazy amounts of stuff. Even a bake sale. All the money raised goes to our adoption. So if you are around Knoxville, come to our yard sale Saturday morning. Look for the signs and balloons in the Farmington subdivision off Ebenezer. Thanks!

life in a Chinese orphanage

We were emailed this incredible post summarizing a seminar by Amy Eldridge from Love Without Boundaries talking about Chinese orphanages. Very eye opening. Read if you are curious.

http://chinaadoptiontalk.blogspot.com/2010/07/amy-eldridge-of-lwb-speaks.html

crowded loneliness

Anne and I have been reading a blog by a friend of a friend. I have never met this person and likely never will, but they are in the same adoption program we are, and we have learned a lot since they are further along the process than we are. They are in China now adopting a child with cleft lip and palate (one of the most common needs and likely what our child will have) and said a few things that are burned into my brain today.

First, there are around one million kids in orphanages in China. I can't get my mind around that number. It's 5x larger than Knoxville, my home. Still, the government allows only a couple thousand to be adopted internationally, while 18,000 families are on a waiting list. That blows my mind.

She ended saying, "We are thankful that God led us to Hope and that she is not one of the hundreds of thousands who will grow up in crowded loneliness." Those two words have consumed my thoughts today: crowded loneliness. We have heard that there are so many children in the orphanages that the workers don't really even know the kids and have diffilculty describing them for paperwork. The kids are surrounded by people, but unknown. They are in crowded rooms, but lonely.

This is yet another reminder of why we are adopting. The need is real. And hopefully this winter or spring we'll be on our way to China.

To follow their journey go to: http://findinghopeinchina.blogspot.com/

seeing faces

We are entering a new phase in our adoption. We are finally able to see faces! There are two ways we may meet our little boy. One way is being matched or referred after completing our dossier and having it accepted in China. We are still a few months out from this point. The other option is finding a child on the list of children who have yet to be matched with a family and have been on this list for over 30 days. Our agency would only "lock-in" a child like this to a family who almost has their dossier completed. After discussing things with our caseworker and reviewing our progress, it seems that we have reached that point! Crazily, this opens the door for us to find a child at any time. Typically the children who stay on this list for over 30 days generally have a more of a need that we currently feel comfortable with, however there are periodically kids who could potentially be a good fit for our family. Our caseworker sent a few profiles of kids on the list, or had been recently matched, just so that we could see what type of information we would be receiving. While the 3 kids were not a good fit for our family for a variety of reasons, it was so neat to see the pictures and hear the stories. The information included things like how they came to the orphanage (where they were found), blood work reports and measurements, specifics on their special need, even what types of toys they liked and what they ate. It truly made this adoption feel more real. We also talked about our projected timeline. Our caseworker gave us a travel estimate of February or March, regardless of when we are matched (either soon, or not long after our dossier is completed). All this is so encouraging to us and much more exciting than the paperwork chase. While it could easily be a few more months before we see pictures of the little guy, it is amazing to know there is potential for it to be any day!

I-800A

Hopefully today we will cross a marker in our adoption. Our I-800A (paperwork that will give us clearance from the US Government to adopt an orphan from another country) will arrive in Texas to start the approval process. This paperwork was very specific and picky. If our I-800A gets the OK from the Department of Security, we will then get a date and location where we go to get fingerprinted. This portion of the process is time sensitive and a big deal. In fact, when one of our nieces was adopted from Ethiopia, they had trouble getting her out of the country because there was a snag with their fingerprinting. All that to say, please pray that this process goes smoothly with the details as they check the paperwork that we sent, as well as prepare any paperwork to be sent along to China.

Thanks so much!

answers to questions

The past few weeks have been really important for our adoption journey bcause they have caused us to question and confirm what we are doing. Here's where we've been over the past month and where we are now:

We had a couple of conversations with friends and an adoption worker, and began to wonder if a domestic adoption could save us a lot of money, fund raising, and time yet still meet a real need. So we called DCS. We talked to two other local agencies. We even had breakfast with a domestic adoption worker who had adopted from China. All of these people and places told us the same thing: that the Waiting Child program in China was for us. These other programs had older children or a limited number of children with great families already in line waiting for them. Those aren't what we feel called to pursue. They are real needs and great people will step up to adopt these kids, but not what we feel called to do.

It seems that there is a real need to adopt special needs boys from China. In our conversations, we've found out that special needs boys are waiting for a home, but the same is not true for Chinese girls. That was news to us, but it seems that the bigger need is to adopt boys. Granted, there are needs everwhere. Granted, our program is not for everyone. But we felt confirmed that we were in the right program for us.

So, it's a boy. And we are excited about that fact.

chris' new job

I am changing jobs starting Monday. After being at Emerald Youth Foundation for almost two years, an opportunity at my church, Cornerstone Church of Knoxville, has opened up. The pastors approached me about it and I knew it was right for me. I'll serve as Church Administrator, which is a churchy term for "guy who handles the details." I'll work with ministry teams, budgets, computers, facilities, etc. I'll function where the rubber meets the road and exercise the devil out of the details. I love that kind of thing and am excited about getting to work at a church that I believe is the best around.

The only guy who may be a better fit for this than me is Wyatt. Since he has been old enough to sit up, he has tossed broken cheerios to the floor, organized his Hot Wheels by color or type, and perfectly lined up just about everything he plays with. I'm no better. I get my kicks reorganizing the pantry. I guess we're built to organize things, so Lord willing, I'll use that gift (or is it neurosis?) for the Lord.

Just wanted everyone to have an update. An adoption update is coming... calm down...

questions on our minds

This week we’ve had more questions than answers about adoption. Here’s the story. 

Anne emailed our rep after watching a webinar because we were confused about a some changes in China’s adoption system. She wrote back that now there was one large pool of kids that many agencies draw from, that the change has made the wait much longer, and that now we may not be in China picking up our kid until 2012. We were shocked. 

Our goal in our adoption has been to find a child that needs a home. But if there is a waiting list, then the demand for kids is more than the supply, which means if we don’t adopt them, there are a dozen others who will. We didn’t do the traditional China program for that reason. We are enrolled in China’s “Waiting Child” program. We pictured a kid waiting for us, not us waiting on a kid. 

We’ve had all sorts of questions: Are we really even meeting a need? Is China for us? If not, why has Anne had a burden for China for so long? Are we doing the right thing? 

Then a friend called Anne and brought over a check to help with our adoption. We haven’t asked for anything from anyone. Anne cried. I was shocked. I am more thankful for that more than that person knows. I took that as God confirming in us that this is what we were supposed to do. I took that to mean that we have questions, but God has answers. That if it’s supposed to happen, He will make it happen. How else do you explain a check that we never asked for showing up the day we are questioning if we were doing the right thing?

I’ve watched my sister adopt from Ethiopia a couple years ago and again this year, and it seemed that things changed constantly for her. I’m not sure why we are so surprised that the same thing is happening to us. Why is it news to me that God is going to have to grow our faith and help us trust him through the process? We don’t have thousands of dollars in an offshore account. We don’t understand all the legal junk in two different countries on opposite sides of the planet. There’s lots we don’t know or have. But I am reminded that if God wants something to happen, it will. If not, Lord, your will be done. 

We have spoken with our rep some more, and we’ve found out that for some reason girls are going very quickly in China. When a girl hits the waiting child list, she is adopted in hours. But right now there are boys stuck on the list waiting for a family. She could only guess why, but it seems there is a more of a need to adopt boys than girls in our program. That seems to be another change. 

So we still have more questions than answers. Maybe “It’s a Boy.” Maybe not. We don’t know. But I’ve been reminded of important things this week. That God is in control, and I am not. That God can do anything He pleases, but only when He pleases. That even though we have question marks, God has exclamation points. And that Isaiah 46:10 says that God declares the end from the beginning and says, “My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.” 

it's been awhile

Let me first say that this picture is a glimpse of everyday life around here. Rex squeezing Wyatt with all that he has, teeth gritting and all, and Wyatt letting him hug for a second, then saying "Re-x!" Brotherly love.

It may seem like it has been forever since an update - because it has! For the past month or more, we have just been waiting. Waiting to receive paperwork, waiting on appointments and waiting for things to be completed. The waiting part has been very slow and very non-interesting. We did, however, receive word today that we have been approved to move on to the next steps in this process - our 1-800A (which is asking the US government for their "blessing" for us to adopt an child from another country) and our Dossier (fancy word for more paperwork to send to China). We should have most of the documents already that are needed, although I do believe we will need to be fingerprinted as well. Our Dossier will be a bit more of an ordeal than the I-800A because many of the documents (birth certificates, marriage certificates, etc.) will need to be authenticated, translated and then sent to China. After we have completed these steps, we officially start the true waiting process and are open to get a referral. The fun part!

I am a little nervous about starting both of these documents because they are very specific and very picky. There are instructions for every detail and specific timing that things will be valid for. Please pray that this part goes smoothly and quickly.

We are still very excited about this adoption, although at this point it still seems a bit surreal. The paperwork and wait are a bit of a distraction, so the idea that a year from now a little girl will (Lord willing) be living with us, seems pretty crazy. We have been trying to use this time to discuss things with the boys, start getting her room ready, and just enjoy our time with Wyatt and Rex. We have had many questions about names and fun details like that. While we have our name favorites, there isn't really a front runner. Part of me feels that once she has a name, the wait will be even harder. We are open to name suggestions though, so suggest away.

Please pray for -

Chris and I - that this adoption continues to be something that increases our faith, reminds us of our blessings, and brings us closer as a couple

Wyatt and Rex - that they continue to process this idea of a new sister

our finances - For every piece of paper and hurdle we have to jump, there is a cost involved. We have seen how the Lord has provided and trust that he will continue to do so.

the paperwork - The next 2 piles of paperwork will be very tedious. Please pray that we are able to get them done quickly and accurately. They will have to travel many miles and get approved by many levels of people.

We are so thankful for you all. Thanks for your support!

quick update

First, we have a new blog address. It's www.thegravesfamilyblog.blogspot.com. It used to be my blog, "short thoughts from a tall guy" (liked that name). But now I've learned to share and it's a family blog, not one about my rants and sarcasm. So change your RSS reader, bookmarks, and links on your blog.

Second, quick update. We are almost done with our home study paperwork and have had 3 of our 4 meetings with the agency. Next week is our final meeting with Melissa, our home-study super-woman, who is great. We also had our fire inspection and Rex got to meet a real "fider fider" ("firefighter" for you English-speakers). We've also had our physicals, and Anne doesn't have TB. In case you wondered. So we are ending the first phase of paperwork for Gladney and our home study agency. Here soon we'll begin our dossier, which is a French word meaning "butt-load of paperwork." That will be done in a couple months, translated into Chinese, sent overseas, and then we wait. For who knows how long.

That's what's up. Here's a random pic of our boys. Thanks for your prayers. And pray for our baby girl. Thanks yall.

why I am adopting (by anne)

Here’s is why I am going to adopt...

I am adopting because this is just another season in my life were God is doing something through me that I would not do on my own. I am a person who loves my family, my comfort and financial security. At first glance, adoption seems to be something that challenges each of those things. We trust, however, that through this process our family will grow and be strengthened, that my comfort will not be found in what I think my life should look like, but in getting to know Christ better and that my true security will be not found in our bank account.

I’m adopting because I like my kids. I want Wy and Rex to have another friend to play with. I am so excited to have another little face to kiss and love. I remember thinking before Rex was born that we enjoyed Wyatt so much that we needed someone else to share that love. Part of me feels that way now. We really like our boys, think they are the funniest and most enjoyable to be around, and believe that adding another to the mix would just enhance it all.

I am adopting in the hopes that through our adoption, we can encourage others to do the same. I picture a ripple effect. I can think of numerous families who have gone before us, making it easier to understand and value adoption. My hope is that people will look at us, see the Graves family, who is far from having it all together, and say, “Hey, if those people can do it, maybe God can give us the grace to do the same!” We will be adopting only one child, but hopefully many others may eventually be adopted as a result.

Lastly, I am adopting because I have a heart for orphans. Even now, I can’t fathom the life of an orphan. I can’t imagine not being “known” the special way a parent loves a child. From infancy, I could tell my boys’ cry from another. I have known their likes and dislikes, their tickle spots, and what would make them smile. I know their favorite books and their favorite cars. I truly know my kids. I want to give a little child the same chance to be known.

It is amazing for me to think that even though this is such a big step for our family, we still probably will, Lord willing, make it to China, step into the orphanage and think that we haven’t done enough. I fight that thought often. Why adopt one when the problem is so much bigger? There are too many children and needs to deal with. Will it really matter? I believe and trust, for all the good that will come of this in our life and in this little child’s, it will.

the BIG application

Here we are mailing part 1 of our big Gladney application. We mailed this on Monday of last week, only for it to be stuck on a Fed Ex truck in the blizzard of 2010 in Pennsylvania for 3 days. Regardless, it finally arrived and we are officially in the thick of this adoption. You aren't able to tell from this picture, but the boys are just as excited as we are. You also aren't able to tell from this picture that only minutes before, they were sprawled out on the floor in a full-out "loving" brother wrestling match only feet away while I paid for the package to be mailed. Ah, to be a mother of 2 boys! Despite the wrestling, we are moving along and are slowly making progress! Yay!

why I am adopting (by chris)

Here are a 7 reasons I am adopting (and a few reasons that didn't affect our decision).

We are not adopting because we can't have more kids. We have two wonderful boys and could likely have more biological kids if we chose. I think that is a great reason to adopt, but it's not our reason.

We are not adopting because we have stinky boys and want a sure way to get some pink in our house. Actually, the last unchecked box in the 20 pages of paperwork we are sending in is gender. We may check the girl box, but that's not the primary reason we are adopting either. [Since this post, we decided to adopt a boy since there is more of a need for boys to be adopted than girls.]

We are not adopting because we are looking for a charity. There are plenty of good charities out there, and I work full-time for one. I literally gave at the office. Adoption is more than that to me.

We are not adopting because we saw some vision or heard some voice. It's been a much longer and more subjective process. I think it's what we are supposed to do but if the money doesn't work out or there are problems and we can't, then I guess we weren't supposed to do it. If we are, then God will have to make it happen.

Here's why I am...

I am adopting because every time I see pictures or read about unwanted babies in a third-world orphanage I cry (something I'm not known for doing often). Anne has read some books about Chinese orphans who have never seen the sunlight or stop crying cause it doesn't help,  and I can't even touch those books. The blurbs on the back are enough to do me in. I think that is a sign that I am called to adopt. I think God put that soft spot in my heart.

I am adopting because the Scriptures talk about it over and over. James 1:27 says that taking care of an orphan is pure religion. Isaiah 1:17 commands us to defend the cause of the orphan. Verses like that affect my decisions.

I am adopting because I've prayed about it for over a year. Anne has prayed about it even longer. I told her that we just couldn't afford $30,000 and that if the Lord wanted us to do it, then He'll need to provide a way. Then He provided a way. It won't pay for everything, but with the money I am getting from a side job, some grants, and some fundraising, the Lord seems to be opening doors. If the money doesn't come in and it all flops, we'll slow down or stop the process, but it seems that God first put a desire in our hearts and now is making  a way for it to happen.

I am adopting because we have seen it be such a blessing to our family and friends. Adoption is one of those win-win deals where a little one gets a chance they'd never have otherwise, and I get more hugs each night at bedtime. Adoption is no sacrifice to me.

I am adopting because I love my boys so much. We are no where near a perfect family, but I love my boys more than I can put into words. And I'd like to give an unwanted baby that same love (in China, waiting children are often abandoned because they have physical defects). I want a little boy who has a small bed and nothing to his name to have a mommy who hugs and kisses him, a daddy who tells who thinks he is awesome, and two big brothers that will love him more than he's ever known.

I am adopting because I can do something to make a difference. Most mornings we turn off the Today Show because it's too depressing and disturbing. With all the bad things in the world, it feels like we can't do much. But I can do this. I can make a difference in one life. I can bring one person from an unreached people group into a Christian family. I can't do much, but I can do this. So we will.

I am adopting because my child is out there somewhere. What would you give or do to bring your biological child home if they were stuck in an orphanage? Would you take a side job, fill out paperwork, and fundraise? For my two boys I'd literally do anything. In adoption, you get the sense that a member of your family is missing. He is in a crib and held twice a day. He may have never left the only room he's ever known. He may have never been sung to. He isn't loved. That kills me. And we are going to do whatever it takes to find him.

That is why I am adopting.

a new beginning

We are going to adopt a waiting child from China. 


I do a double-take at that sentence, even though I wrote it. You may do the same. We have talked and prayed about it for months, and we feel that it's time. We hope that there is a child on the other side of the planet in a city we've likely never heard of that will be part of our family. 


A waiting child is a special needs adoption. These are the kids that are less likely to be adopted, so those are the ones we feel called to pursue. We don't believe we are equipped to handle all special needs, but some we hope we can help a child overcome.  We are open to a boy or girl, 2 years or under. We have chosen Gladney Adoption to help us through the process which will likely stretch into next year. 


So 2010 will be a long journey -- a paper trail 50 miles long, to-do lists as long as your arm, emails zooming to the other side of the country and planet, and lots of prayers rising into the throne room of God. And the journey will end when a little Asian boy or girl boards a plane with us to come to Knoxville. 

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.  Psalms 68:5-6